a tall tale
A LIE WILL NEVER HURT A FISHERMAN
The tree must have been at least 50 metres tall and ten metres wide but it was the only tree in the neighbourhood which I hadn't climbed to the top yet.
It was an untimely Monday morning (7 am!) when I arrived at the bus stop. I dumped my bag not because I couldn't handle the weight but because I didn't want it scratched and dirty. So off I went on my treacherous journey not knowing what frightful events lay ahead of me. As always the first bit is the hardest hauling yourself up onto the tree, but me being as fit as I am, I merely had to jump catch the branch and swing around and land. I continued up the tree keeping my balance leaping from one branch to another.
I was about a quarter of the way up the tree when the other two scrounge kids who share the bus stop with me arrived (late as usual, but what do expect). Steve the boy shouted something out to me but I was too far up too hear him. I kept climbing I was almost to the top now just a few more metres. Deep breaths I told myself deep breathes. My legs were starting to wear so I used my arms and wrenched myself up onto the last and weakest branch. I had smashed up the scales at home because they were obviously incorrect but now I'm starting to think otherwise, I was starting to hear a tree climber's nightmare the branch was breaking. Thinking of me and me only I quickly jumped off the branch and the kids below seemed to suffer the most. The branch had fallen and landed on their feet well one foot but they were standing together so that made it one foot each (a double wammer). They looked up at me with evil eyes I thought I'd better apologise even though they should apologise to me for not cheering me as I was the first kid ever to make it to the top.
I had a brilliant idea (there was even a light bulb above my head along with the halo) why don't I just jump it seemed easy enough it was only 40 metres at the most. The jump: 1, 2, 3 and jump as I was near to the bottom of the tree I heard this terrible ripping noise. As soon as my feet hit land my hands flew back and held my shorts but when I turned around to see there was no rip. Then a whiny laugh came from Laura the girl she was pointing at me I stood in shock thinking the front of my pants had ripped but when I looked there was nothing, the laughing went on until she managed to spit "yeerrrr sherrrt" it was slurred I translated the word shirt though. Click. It finally got to my brain I looked down at my shirt crickey there were two long splits down either side of my shirt that's right not one but two splits. Finally the bus was here, when I sat down I worked on tying each split into a knot but when you tie one side there isn't enough material left to tie the other side. Why did I end up the only blonde in the family?
Posted By Jaime Sims on Monday 6th September 2004 @ 18:11:00
Updated : Sunday 15th July 2007 @ 21:59:52 | Words : 563 | Views : 1628 | Comments : 0
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